Page 3 – HARDTIMES

August 31, 2023

BLACK ROCK DESERT, Nev. – Burning Man festival attendee Joshua Lewis recently died onsite due to his utter paranoia that…

August 19, 2023

Alright, I’ve got this. I’m prepared. Rolling up to the regularly scheduled orgy with my clean STD test, 700 or…

July 25, 2023

CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — High school math teacher Charles Negley experienced a fleeting moment of euphoria followed by utter disappointment earlier…

July 23, 2023

PITTSBURGH – Taylor Swift’s recent whirlwind trip to the Steel City caused real estate prices to skyrocket by a shocking…

June 28, 2023

RENO, Nev. – Local music fan Roger Dalton remains steadfast in his opinion that Poison’s seminal hit “Talk Dirty to…

May 12, 2023

Unless you have been offline for the past two years, which, first of all, good for you, you've probably heard…

April 30, 2023

SARATOGA SPRINGS, N.Y. — Local lesbian Molly Roth recently completed the solemn task known in her community as the “changing…

April 28, 2023

Look–I know Ghost is bad. They make pretty bog-standard hard rock, performed by cosplay Satanists, with lyrics that only the…

April 27, 2023

PERRYOPOLIS, Penn. — The signature 2023 Chardonnay by Grapes of Wrath winery presents heavily with top notes of vinyl chloride,…

April 1, 2023

System Of A Down is one of those bands that has a near-universal appeal and everyone, whether they want to…