PALO ALTO, Calif. — Tesla recently revealed the prototype for their new self-driving Dragula that can independently dig through ditches and burn through witches, sources…
Dear poor Republican voters. Are you stupid or something? I’m only asking because you keep voting against your interests. Did you know that the politicians…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Struggling punk band Sucks To Be You revealed that they were at wits’ end after years of living drink ticket to drink…
Have you ever caught yourself thoroughly enjoying an Explosions in the Sky track and thought there might be something lacking? Like, I don’t know, lyrics?…
MANHATTAN — Local heroes in a half shell The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are reportedly “totally bummed out” after rising rent forced them to vacate…
Fall is easily one of the best seasons of the year. Top three, for sure. However, if you’re like us and you observe the month-long…
WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Local ska fan Brian Blum identified several hidden satanic puns while playing Skaranormal Activity’s new record backwards on a turntable in…
They say that alcohol destroys families. But it’s the only thing keeping mine together. I would know, as someone who is always within arms reach…
LONDON — Longtime royal and purveyor of British tradition Queen Elizabeth could not recall at what point in her life she knighted American rapper and…
NEW ORLEANS — Local man who either looks good for his age or bad for his age Benjamin Button revealed that his political outlook is…
Whoa there, buddy. I didn’t come to this party to cultivate new friendships or trick people into connecting with me on LinkedIn. I came here…
WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Local woman Alicia Beacon discovered a major red flag during her first date with Tony Delough in his overwhelmingly vocal distaste for…
HOLLYWOOD, Fla. — Former president and disgraced for-profit university owner Donald Trump revealed that he will commemorate the brave men and women who fought during…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local crust punk Julian “The Stain” Rainer stunned a group of friends by somehow clogging a perfectly good toilet merely after urinating…
It is well documented on Wikipedia that the Misfits are synonymous with horror movie subject matter and imagery, but not many realize they also wrote…