Andy Holt, Author at HARDTIMES

June 24, 2018

MINNEAPOLIS — A 1986 Ford Econoline van baffled onlookers and scientists alike last night after somehow inhabiting two separate parking…

June 1, 2018

Yeah, I hear what you’re saying about the awful car wreck you got into this morning. Whatever it was you…

May 31, 2018

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local bouncer Terry Brawn initiated an important and revealing third look last night at a potential patron’s…

May 17, 2018

BOSTON — Tufts University philosophy student Colin Hendricks was amused to learn yesterday that recovering addict and “fucking brainless sheep”…

May 16, 2018

NEW YORK — Rapper and television personality Action “Mr. Wonderful” Bronson was brutally murdered on the streets of Queens last…

April 21, 2018

When the Avicii song “Wake Me Up” came out I was living in the desert. It sucked. There was one…

March 24, 2018

LAFAYETTE, La. — Local husband and father Harold Walsner insisted this morning that putting in a full eight hours of…

February 8, 2018

I’ve sacrificed a lot to become a game designer at a major studio. I have spent long nights staring at…

January 3, 2018

ORLANDO, Fla. – Terrible local ska band Honk Republic transformed into a halfway-decent punk band late Monday night, when their…

December 29, 2017

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Local libertarian Peter Murphy faced off against and won a rousing debate last night against his radical,…