PALO ALTO, Calif. — American multinational technology company Meta’s chairman and chief executive officer Mark Zuckerberg found himself hoping that nobody noticed his latest Metaverse demonstration was just the 1985 music video for “Money for Nothing” by Dire Straits, sources report.
“Oh man, I’ve been so focused on AI recently that I completely forgot about the Metaverse,” Zuckerberg told reporters as he left the stage. “Do you think anyone noticed that was just a music video played on MTV in the ‘80s and later on VH1’s ‘Pop-Up Video’? I mean, it looks just like Meta Horizon Worlds, right? I didn’t realize I had to give this presentation until a half hour before it started, so I honestly think that went pretty well, all things considered. I mean, that music video is like 40 years old, so it’s not like anyone in the audience recognized it for what it was. At least, I’m sincerely hoping that isn’t the case.”
Audience member Yesenia Ceja reacted to the presentation.
“Wow, that really fucking sucked,” Ceja observed. “It was just as bad as the demonstration he gave like three years ago, which was the last time I heard anything about the Metaverse. Wasn’t he all gung-ho about getting people to use this shit instead of commuting to their jobs? Whatever happened to that? To be perfectly candid, I only showed up to this thing out of morbid curiosity, and you’re telling me that I was just watching some music video from 1985? Could’ve fooled me, especially because it didn’t look any worse than the actual Metaverse. Can we finally admit that this dude is just some dumbshit without any good ideas who stumbled and backstabbed his way into being a billionaire?”
Tech expert Keith Rhodes expounded upon the situation.
“Obviously, it was always ridiculous for Zuckerberg to be pushing the Metaverse,” Rhodes said. “It looks like a shitty PlayStation 1 game and makes half the people who use it seasick. Hopefully, this sad excuse for a presentation is the final nail in the coffin for this failed endeavor, and he can go back to focusing on AI until he inevitably fucks that up as well. That was a catchy song that accompanied the video of those 3D construction workers walking around, though, I have to admit. I feel like my dad would love it.”
At press time, Zuckerberg admitted that he had also used clips from his old VHS copy of “Lawnmower Man” to make the presentation longer.
