TIKTOK — Internet sleuths have determined that a currently viral TikTok video claiming to be a how-to guide for the growing “looksmaxxing” movement is, in fact, an illegally posted bootleg copy of the 2025 body-horror film “The Ugly Stepsister”, according to trusted social media experts.
“This tutorial really takes looksmaxxing to the next level,” said looksmaxxing pioneer Clavicular in a post on his own TikTok account. “Any poser can restructure their cheekbones with a hammer, but nose taming? That is just elite level right there. My tape worm finally arrived in the mail three days ago, and I already feel more masculine, more confident, and, at least when I’m not doubled over in debilitative abdominal pain, which is often, more energetic! It’s a long video, so if you’re too busy maximizing your gains to watch the whole thing, all you really need to know is that having a tapeworm rocks, and I am definitely not an incel.”
The film, a satirical and gruesome retelling of the Cinderella story from the wicked step-siblings’ point of view, showcases the extreme lengths its main character will go through to win the affections of a vapid and boorish prince, including facial mutilation, the use of parasites, and self-dismemberment — techniques many looksmaxxers now consider to be tools in their arsenal.
“At first, when she chopped part of her foot off to fit that slipper, I was like ‘Yo, that’s nutty,’” recalled Looksmaxxer Dwayne Shepard. “But then I remembered how Nike never seems to have Air Jordan 1’s in a 13″ wide. As you can see, I’m rocking a fresh pair right now, and once I relearn how to walk, I’m gonna look fly as hell. When looksmaxxing meets sneakerhead culture, good things happen! Anyway, Clavicular is not an incel.”
While the film earned significant critical praise during its initial release, experts are at a loss to explain how anyone could consider inflicting the self-harm it depicts on themselves for any reason.
“People are doing what?!” exclaimed film critic Sara Pratcherd. “Because of who?! Clavicular? That incel guy?! Jesus. I mean, what the fuck?!”
As of press time, Clavicular was abstaining from sexual activity despite not wanting or choosing to do so.
