LOS ANGELES — A visionary photographer told the band Murder Muffin to look as bored as possible during a photo shoot for an album cover, sources confirmed.
“I told Murder Muffin to get on board with my vision or I’ll take my art somewhere more deserving,” said Dean Chapman, legendary music photographer. “I need everyone looking bored. Look off in the distance and disassociate, like you’re walking out of an airplane bathroom you just nuked. Be bored and you’ll look bored. Not high-bored. Not too-cool-for-this bored. I need bored-bored. Ever see an album cover or a show poster where each member of the band is dressed differently and looks vaguely disappointed about it so they look away from the camera? Of course you haven’t, but you will after today. Start getting bored right now or I’ll tell you about the dream I had last night or show you the AI art I made or have you smell my candle collection. I have fucking thousands of candles.”
The members of Murder Muffin did their best to live up to Chapman’s vision.
“We respect the artistic process. We do method stuff, too, like how we rented out a rehearsal space that’s haunted by the time the Red Hot Chili Peppers played there. I think the end result will be worth it. No one has ever shot a band like this, where everyone just sort of stands there like they’re waiting for their order at Chik-fil-A,” said Vix Rockwater, rhythm triangle player for Murder Muffin. “This is our way of paying homage to the bands that influence us, like Sonic Youth, The Strokes, and Babes in Toyland. The difference is they only looked bored. We’re doing the real thing, and in another 17 hours, I think we’ll have it.”
Scott Stapp, vocalist for the multi-platinum rock band Creed, cautioned Murder Muffin about taking the artistic process too far.
“We brought in a visionary photographer for the ‘Weathered’ album cover, too. That’s the album where all the band members’ faces are baked into the side of a tree. You’ll never guess how we got our faces into that tree, and you really won’t guess how we got them out of there,” Stapp said. “I’d tell Murder Muffin the same thing I told Turnstile and Viagra Boys: can Creed open for you? We’re looking to get back to it now that ‘One Last Breath’ is a meme.”
As of press time, Murder Muffin’s label opted to use an “even more visionary” solid black square for the album cover instead.
