LOS ANGELES — After coming out victorious in the multi-billion dollar bidding war to acquire Warner Bros., Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos was seen leaving the negotiations sporting a boardwalk-style graphic tee reading, “If You See The FCC Investigating Anti-Competitive Acquisition, Warn a Brother,” our sources confirm. “This old thing? Just something I found in the closet, I just dropped a band on the Looney Tunes company, so I thought I’d show my appreciation and excitement,” said the Netflix CEO as he lit up a cigar and answered questions while waiting for a Waymo. “Get ready for Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, DC, and Wizard of Oz spin-offs, amusement parks, and crossovers. I’m thinking maybe Eleven from Stranger Things joins the Scooby Doo gang, or what about Mindhunter season 3 revolving around catching Pennywise? The possibilities are endless! They just won’t be in theaters, ever again.” At press time, Sarandos laughed uncontrollably until his ride arrived when asked about the ethical and logistical aspects of consolidating the multi-media entertainment enterprises.
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