It’s a well-known fact that liberals refer to themselves as the “tolerant left” as evidenced by a meme I saw on Facebook. But if that was the case, how come my neighbor Kevin was not very understanding after I slept with his wife and took a dump on his lawn? Every single time that happens, their tolerance is nowhere to be found. If anything, he seems pretty livid right now.
Sure, by “slept with his wife” I mean begged her several times to sleep with me. Unfortunately, she rejected all of my advances to bone, so I did what any upstanding alpha male would do and snuck into their bedroom while they were having sex and sat in a chair in the corner to watch. I think they call that cucking someone. I cucked them real good.
After they caught me, they rudely kicked me out and threatened to call the cops, so I had no choice but to pinch a loaf on his lawn, but that was only because I was eight beers deep and Michelob Ultras always make me have to go potty. He should know that by now. And yet he still avoids eye contact when he sees me. It’s like the entire Democratic party has so little patience for their neighbors’ drunken shit locations.
And hey, If I’m going to crash my car into my “tolerant” neighbor’s begonia garden at two in the morning, he should at least have the decency to understand where I’m coming from. I’m pretty sure empathy is all liberals care about. As a registered Republican, I wouldn’t be caught dead empathizing.
Finally, I’m not going to reimburse Kevin for that time I cut down that tree in my yard, and it just so happened to fall on a portion of his house, either. And now he’s suing me. That’s pretty much the least tolerant thing a person can do. It’s like liberals have no self-awareness.