I recently stumbled upon a video so deranged and unsettling, I could only assume it came from a pile of unlabeled VHS tapes at some backwoods garage sale. Shockingly, this smut was not leaked footage from the dark web, but rather a clip from the hit spin-off series, ‘And Just Like That.’ To cleanse my palate, I watched and reviewed five snuff films that are decidedly less disturbing than the ‘Sex and The City’ reboot.
1. The Necrosis Ordeal – A time-lapse video shows someone wearing a burlap mask cutting off circulation to an unidentified man’s extremities with zip ties. As his tissue necrotizes, gangrene slowly kills him. It’s a hard watch, but not as painful as the scene in ‘And Just Like That’ where Aiden tries to get Carrie to have phone sex and then licks his palm so loudly before jerking off that it sounds like a geriatric dog eating peanut butter.
2. Wood Chipper Diaries – This 8mm video of a woman having her face power-washed into oblivion before being thrown into an industrial wood chipper by a homicidal maniac wearing a Richard Nixon mask isn’t for the faint of heart, but neither is the scene in ‘AJLT’ where Harry and Charlotte go to a downtown club hoping to relive their youth only to find that Harry has wet himself and must leave.
3. Spit-roast II – An ominous duo picks up a transient and later impales him asshole to mouth with a spit, then roasts him over an open flame, forcing an apple so far into his mouth that you can hear his jaw break. Stomach churning, yes, but also refreshing after watching Che Diaz introduce themself to podcast listeners as “Your host and queer non binary mexican-irish diva.”
4. Hellevator – A compilation video shows the beheading of multiple people by the same elevator. A disembodied voice can be heard giggling as a newly decapitated body lets out its last twitches. Unfotunately, the disturbing nature of this content was overshadowed by a scene in ‘AJLT’ where Miranda abadnons her role as caretaker and lets Che finger-bang the shit out of her as Carrie, unable to walk post-surgery, pisses herself as she army crawls to the bathroom.
5. Demolition Scurvy – Cages full of anonymous people line the perimeter of a dungeon. Swaths of diseased bugs hang in the air thick as mist, and anyone who moves a muscle is cattle prodded until incapacitated. Surely this is one of the worst things you have ever seen, right? Wrong. ‘AJLT’ has written Steve into an invalid. He is constantly fiddling with his hearing aids, forgetting what year it is, and trying to squeeze an iota of warmth from his extremely gay wife. Killing off Steve while he’s still very much alive is truly innovative snuff.