BOCA CHICA, Texas – The world’s richest man, Elon Musk, says that he will be creating a new political party based heavily on his careful study of South African politics before 1990 after expressing his dissatisfaction with the direction that Donald Trump is currently taking the United States, multiple chronically online goons confirmed.
“I think that America would really benefit from a political party much like the one in power when I was growing up as the modest son of an emerald miner outside of Johannesburg,” said a droopy-eyed Elon Musk, fading in and out of consciousness. “I’ve studied the old South African political system and it was a utopia for all South Africans. Yes, there is a lot of misinformation online about South Africa’s National Party, but once I reprogram Grok to answer questions correctly then everyone will know how great they were, and how the United States could really benefit from its core principles.”
One Trump voter was less convinced by Musk’s proposition as he felt his needs were already being met.
“I’m sure Elmo has his heart in the right place but what he’s offering isn’t really any different from what I’m already getting,” said Republican party member Isaac Cunningham. “To be honest, I haven’t seen that many illegal immigrants running around anymore now that they’ve been forced into hiding. I guess the only thing Elon could do to make me switch is to get robots doing the deportations because I am getting tired of impersonating an ICE officer.”
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu stated that he thinks Musk might really be onto something here.
“Unlike South Africa the state of Israel has never abandoned the policies that once made South Africa great,” said the leader in between ordering the bombing of children’s hospitals. “Everyone in our society is nicely sectioned off into the corridors where they belong and Israelis are much happier for it. My only advice is that if someone does start opposing your party just be aware that polonium tea tends to fix all of your problems.”
At press time, Musk was seen dancing and singing along with an AI-generated hologram of Miley Cyrus announcing it’s “Apartheid in the USA.”