BALTIMORE — Local venue the Rusty Nut is reported to be heated by a single eight-outlet power strip, confirmed several sources with burn marks on their hands.
“After we opened the venue the first few shows were great, but when colder weather arrived the crowds started to dip,” said Terry Morgan, sound man for the Rusty Nut. “But then this metal band played a show and they had seven full stack amps and like 30 pedals to power up. I grabbed this old power strip we found in a dumpster and just plugged everything in. During sound check we noticed the temperature went up about 25 degrees in a few minutes, by show time, it was a balmy 83 degrees. If only there was a way to get his strip to act like an air conditioner in the summer. Our HVAC fan is our only source of cooling in July.”
Venue manager Greg Pullman said the creative wiring in the venue was all his own design.
“The building had several issues when we moved in, obviously this fixed the heating problem, but also helped with a stage wiring issue,” said Pullman while using a drumstick to jam a circuit breaker in the on position. “The stage only has one plug, so a power strip was needed to handle the amps and accessories. Fortunately that one plug is rated at 15 amps, and we’ve only ever plugged seven into it. After that, it’s just about finding the right balance where the power strip gets hot, but doesn’t completely set the stage, bar, and audience members ablaze. I can definitely find that balance, as long as Terry doesn’t try to make a fucking hot pocket right before showtime.”
Electrical Inspector Dwayne Cleery evaluated the venue during the permitting process, but felt there wasn’t much he could do.
“Where to fucking start, I approved the permit because they promised to do some upgrades, but that whole building should be torn down right away,” said Cleery while ripping up any evidence of his involvement in the building inspection. “That place is definitely going to burn down from something, but it’s such a goddamn mess it’ll be hard for the fire marshall to pinpoint what actually started the fire. If I had to venture a guess, that soda gun leaking directly onto exposed wires behind the bar will probably do it.”
At press time, staff at the Rusty Nut were trying to find a way to create a water heater with another power strip.