BALTIMORE — Corey Cruz, drummer of hardcore band Maximum Output, reportedly told lead singer Devin Altman to please put his shirt back on during a show, as being shirtless was kind of specifically his department to begin with.
“I’ve always been the shirtless one,” said Cruz, as Altman was seen sulkily pulling his own tee back over his head. “It’s kind of my whole deal. I get sweaty back here pummeling away at the drums, so I need to let my skin breathe, you know? I was born to be shirtless, and it’s become part of who I am as a drummer and performer. It’s important that I have this bit to express my individuality in the band. I just gotta be myself, and also not let Devin do it. Next he’s going to have a giant box fan blowing on him the entire time and it will totally steal my thunder.”
Altman attempted to explain what prompted this sudden behavior of wanting to strip down while singing.
“I get hot up there in the front under all the bright lights. Corey just sits there on his comfortable little drum chair while I’m getting my steps in and putting on the show of a lifetime,” Altman said, pouting. “How come I can’t pop off my clothes every once in a while, too? Just because Corey has a leaner, more toned physique and isn’t highly visible to the crowd doesn’t mean I don’t also want to show some skin every now and then. This is like, discriminatory, man.”
Audience member Terry Balzac thinks the band members should find a compromise.
“They can both be shirtless. Hell, I think I should be shirtless as well. I’d want the freedom to pull off this sweaty garment and be unburdened by norms and expectations,” Balzac rambled, unprompted. “In fact, I think it’s ridiculous that society doesn’t allow us all to throw off these shackles we call clothes and be completely free, allowing ourselves to bare all. I’m gonna do it! I’m taking my fucking shirt off!”
At press time, Altman was seen putting on a leather vest in place of a shirt and leaving it open while Cruz shook his head doubtfully.