Dear friends, family, and colleagues,
It would seem that my most recent post on Facebook has caused a lot of confusion, and dare I say even unflattering accusations. I’ve reluctantly concluded that an explanation is in order.
As you or anyone who knows me is aware, I consider myself to be a student of comedy. I’m no Shane Gillis, sure, but I am constantly endeavoring to make those around me laugh and spread a little joy into this crazy world of ours. The reason that I VERY MUCH DELIBERATELY posted “April O’Neil Juggs xxx” as my status update was because it is a very funny JOKE. Sadly, this seems to have gone over the heads of more than a few of you.
Reactions to my most recent joke, or shall we say “comedic piece,” have so far ranged from frustrating to downright hurtful. You see, it’s funny because I’m NOT searching for crude pornographic drawings of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle’s reporter friend April O’Neil. I’m ACKNOWLEDGING that being caught doing that would be embarrassing! It’s an esoteric joke, sure. What can I say, I play to the back of the room. Shortly after posting, however, it occurred to me that this SATIRICAL status might be a little too advanced for the general public, and I deleted it, which very unfortunately backfired.
Somehow, in the handful of seconds between post and deletion, a number of you screen-grabbed the status and posted it to your own timelines, tagging me in comments such as “Homeboy seriously thought he was typing in the search bar and outed himself jackin it to Ninja Turtles.” First off, I was not “jackin it” to the Ninja Turtles. The CHARACTER I was writing in was trying to gratify himself with sexualized images of April O’Neil, a human woman of adult age. Secondly, It was a JOKE, because the IDEA of me doing that would be funny!
My only crime here is doubting my own comedic genius and hastily deleting this WORK OF FICTION within seconds of it going live. I am not, as many of you have insinuated “a pervert.” No, my family is not “shell-shocked by this reveal.” No, I am not “finishing on a pizza and then eating it (but no anchovies dude!)” Frankly, the fact that so many of your minds went there makes me wonder about some of you.
Comedians, oh, I consider myself a comedian by the way, comedians are explorers. Sometimes we need a lot of runway before we can take off, and while we may stumble along the way we should be free to experiment, even at the risk of offending. To quote Dave Chappelle, “Comedians have a responsibility to speak recklessly.” Thank you, and goodnight.
Velma+glasses+BJ xxx