Whenever I meet someone else who works in finance, they’re quick to admire my nice clothes, six-figure salary, and ability to make women test how long they can listen to unsolicited financial advice in exchange for free drinks. They think I’m like them, but when they find out this hedge fund manager is also a bonafide crazy Metallica fan, it breaks their brain.
When I’m investing a billionaire’s earnings into a private equity firm that’s decreasing the quality of most consumer products to gain short term growth before selling or bankrupting a previously reputable company, you know that I’m getting in the zone with a little “Seek and Destroy.” The employees at my firm are all into teeny bopper music like Britney Spears or Justin Bieber. Shit that blares on every other lamestream radio station plays 24/7. Not me, I’ve got “For Whom The Bell Tolls” cranking on my $400 Bose headphones as I hand HR another list of employees getting laid off this fiscal quarter.
My journey with the band goes all the way back to their underground days with “St. Anger.” When I watched the scene in “Some Kind of Monster ” where Lars auctions his Basquiat for five million dollars, I knew these guys weren’t just an incredible hard rock band, but a group of guys with an astute investment portfolio. No other band has the business acumen to get a concert in Fortnite, distill their own brand of premium whisky, or perform with toy instruments on Jimmy Fallon. It’s the kind of sensibility that inspires me as I figure out the best defense contractor to put a corrupt politician’s embezzled campaign funds into.
My life may look perfect, but it’s not easy being the black sheep of the company. Sure I join the partners on the P.J. over to Europe, but when they go to hit the beaches, I’m off spending two nights in the $2000 VIP Snake Pit. Casual Friday to the other managers at the firm might mean a polo shirt or khakis, but to me, it’s an $80 Metallica tour shirt that I picked up in the priority merch booth. One of our interns mentioned she thought of me after hearing St. Vincent’s “Sad But True” cover, but I doubt she can become a real fan of Metallica getting into them that way.