Emo is a lot like pornography – it’s hard to define but you know it when you see it. There’s also a lot of fake moaning and screaming involved. Also the term “ten-inch vinyl” comes into play. And when it’s over you feel empty and sad on the inside. What were we talking about again? Right, emo. That word sure has gone through the wringer. You’ve most likely been berated at some point by some scene elder for listening to My Chemical Romance because it’s not “real emo.”
Well, we’re not here today to be judgy and get into what is or is not real emo. But we are going to rank the top emo songs of the ‘90s and why this era is way better than My Chemical Romance which isn’t real emo. Shit, I guess we are the scene elders now.
Anyway, we devised a very scientific list of criteria that we can’t get into but let’s just say if it has an old-timey photo with typewriter font it probably made the list. So now that I broke out this sweater vest from storage which weirdly seems tighter in the mid-section than I remember and also put on thick-framed glasses that have actual prescription lenses in them now for my astigmatism, let’s get into it.
50. Mohinder “To Satisfy”
I used to work with a guy named Mohinder who would look at his watch when I got to work and just say “Late.” That guy was an asshole so I’m hoping this band wasn’t named after him.
49. The Jazz June “Rich Kid Shakedown”
What was it about jazz that was so fascinating to emo kids? Was it the cool vintage aesthetics of the album covers or the fact that jazz musicians could actually play their instruments? Anyway, this song is super catchy and is in no way jazz.
48. Penfold “I’ll Take You Everywhere”
These guys were definitely let’s just say “inspired” by Mineral. Kinda like how GoBots were “inspired” by Transformers (We’re talking about songs from the ‘90s and referencing toys from the ‘80s because we’re old as fuck.) We’ll give Penfold a pass on the imitation because this song is good.
47. Portraits of Past “Bang Yer Head”
Whoever first came up with the term “screamo” must’ve felt pretty good about themselves for how clever they are. I guess Portraits of Past would be considered screamo but this song breaks it up a bit it with some mid-tempo melodies.
46. Bleed “Deadlikeus”
What’s better than having an off-key screaming frontman doing temper-tantrum vocals? Having TWO off-key screaming frontmen doing temper-tantrum vocals! Extra points awarded because this split 7” with Chain To Thread came in the emo staple — the manilla envelope cover.
45. The Appleseed Cast “Marigold & Patchwork”
Cover art shouldn’t really be a deciding factor when ranking songs but I’ll be honest I really hate the cover for this album. That art class drawing of a sad boy just staring at you feels a little low effort and just too on the nose for an emo record. That said, if you close your eyes and don’t look at it this song is pretty good.
44. Ribbon Fix “Some Saturday”
Soft female vocals paired with the male screamer were a well-worn trope that sometimes worked and sometimes did not. Ribbon Fix however flips it a bit and Andi Camp’s vocals get more aggressive and aren’t just the pretty counterpart to some guy screaming.
43. Brandston “Blindspot”
This sounds like the soundtrack to sitting inside all day on a Saturday with nowhere to go and no one to see. Which honestly now as a withering old adult sounds fantastic but when you’re young and actually have the desire to interact with other human beings it’s the worst. Or at least I would assume so since I can’t even remember that far back.
42. Moss Icon “I’m Back Sleeping, Or Fucking, Or Something”
Uh-oh, I can already hear the “Um, actually…” crowd furiously typing away to let us all know that this song was technically first released in 1987 and not actually in the ‘90s. I bet most people first heard it on “Lyburnum Wits End Liberation Fly” in 1993 though. Also, I don’t really give a shit. This song deserves to be on this list either way.
41. Joan of Arc “The Hands”
The first of many appearances by the Kinsella brothers on this list. After Cap’n Jazz ended brother Tim started up Joan of Arc and dialed down the goofiness of the Cap’n a bit but kept things pretty lighthearted. If I had to nitpick I would say I don’t love whatever that “boing” sound is that permeates this song.
40. Ashes “Sometimes”
Oh, here we go again. More pretty female vocals with a dude screaming. These dreamboats swooped into the mid-’90s hardcore scene and stole everyone’s hearts with their big pants and X’s on their hands.
39. Walleye “Episode”
This song starts off with the line “Drank myself into a stupor last night trying to escape my demons” and I know exactly what they mean. I myself had half a glass of Pinot Grigio last night because my Amazon shipment for my weighted blanket is late.
38. Godspeed “April”
No, this is not Godspeed You! Black Emperor. After Turning Point broke up a few members started a spin-off project and went all in on the emo that TP had been dabbling with on their last release. RIP Skip Candelori.
37. Falling Forward “Character”
This is the band Chris Higdon was in before forming Elliott and this definitely sounds like a rough sketch of what Elliott would sound like. This is a song hardcore dudes would play for their non-hardcore girlfriends as like a gateway song to try to get them into hardcore.
36. Rainer Maria “Tinfoil”
The vocals here work way better when they are harmonizing but falter a bit on their own. I do really appreciate the use of the word “goddamit” in the chorus though. I can’t think of another song that has it in the lyrics. Sure, it would’ve been easier to drop a few f-bombs in there but “goddammit” has a nice vintage charm to it.
35. Still Life “Sometimes”
The second song on the list with the name “Sometimes.” A lot of Sill Life’s songs seemed to meander a bit and lose the plot but this stays on course with driving guitar hooks and punchy singalong parts.
34. Rye Coalition “Algebra of Need”
Rye Coalition probably falls a little outside the realm of emo on most of their material but this song feels pretty damn emo. They also scooped Refused by stealing this vintage jazz cover design 4 years before The Shape of Punk To Come came out.
33. Samuel “Lives of Insects”
Samuel was like Velocity Girl but for cool people. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were approached by major labels about signing since every label in the mid-’90s wanted their own version of Letters To Cleo.
32. Hoover “Electrolux”
Oh yeah, now we’re talking. A heavily distorted bassline that chugs along in an odd time signature? When you say it out loud doesn’t sound like it’s going to be emo but it surely is. I hate to be the cranky old man but they just don’t make ‘em like this anymore.
31. Anasarca “Eugene Debs”
Listening to this you can almost visualize a room full of dudes with Spock haircuts in tight ironic thrift store t-shirts rolling around on the floor screaming. Unlike a lot of the other screamo bands at the time who would just serve up a screeching wall of noise, these guys have some groove to their songwriting with some interesting dynamics and even a few guitar leads.