Ugh, what a bummer! While flipping through the used vinyl at my local record store with endless copies of The Beatles, Supertramp, and that one Billy Joel album that seems to always be in every dollar bin, I came across an album by some band called “The Stockpile Gang” that has been autographed by every member for some reason.
Who the fuck are these guys? Did they actually have some sort of following at one point? Curious, I flipped it over to the back side to see a grainy black and white photo of the band in what looks like an alley while drinking beers and holding their unplugged instruments. Okay, so maybe they were a real band but people wanted their autographs?
Examining it further I notice the album, which is titled “Cuttin’ to the Bone”, came out in 1992 which was a weird time period for music. These guys could’ve either been some kind of indie post-grunge, funk metal, or possibly even ska. None of which are any type of band anyone would ever want an autograph from.
I pulled out my phone to look them up. It’s a slight breach of etiquette in the used record store world but still acceptable. Nope, they’re not on Spotify, definitely nothing for them on Wikipedia, but maybe most shocking of all… not even on Discogs! A band with an autographed record doesn’t even manage to get added to fucking Discogs? What is this world?
Suddenly, it hits me — For the past 30 years, this album has been out there in the world floating around from used record store to thrift market to yard sale exchanging hands at $2.99 per transaction, and probably has never actually been played. And that really got me down.
Here is an album of almost certainly terrible music whose creators Mike Stryker, Don “Pizazz” Parler, Drek, and Jeff L. all personally signed making it what one would assume an actual valued and cherished item for…someone. And it really started to make me question the nature of the intrinsic value we attribute to an autograph, and what it means to be yet another consumer of physical media relics from a bygone era of — Oh Shit! Is that a first pressing of Misfits’ “Walk Among Us” right behind it?! Wow, it’s only $190!