BENSALEM, Pa. – New Rush tribute band Tom Tom Sawyer hopes to set themselves apart from the competition by being composed of drummers exclusively, sources still mourning Neil Peart confirmed.
“When I posted that I was starting a Rush tribute band, I wasn’t expecting to get so many enthusiastic responses in such little time,” said warehouse worker, and lifelong drummer, Kennedy Lyons. “Nor was I expecting all the replies to be exclusively from drummers. But that’s when it struck me–Neil Peart’s drumming is obviously the most important aspect of Rush’s music anyway, so nobody is going to miss the other instruments like bass or guitar. It’s really important to me to keep it as authentic as possible though, so that’s why we’re still a power trio.”
The formation of Tom Tom Sawyer has been a boon for business for rehearsal space owner Dan Reagan.
“Because their drum kits are so gigantic, and because there are three of them, they have to rent out three separate rooms,” cackled Reagan. “They’re here like multiple times a week, so they alone are currently paying for all my premium porn subscriptions. All I had to do was upgrade the studio internet so they could see each other over Zoom which I didn’t mind doing, because now I can watch said premium porn at the front desk. I don’t even care that it scares off potential new customers, these guys are my meal ticket.”
Show “attendee” and Jabroni’s Bar & Grill regular Tim Meyers had mixed feelings about being ambushed by the band’s debut performance.
“I was having a nice jalapeno popper dinner with my wife when I noticed some drums being set up. Like a lot of fucking drums, too many to count,” sighed Meyers. “I figured our date night was about to be ruined, but when three of them started playing with no other music, that’s when I knew God was punishing me for that time I said the Eagles deserved to lose the Super Bowl. It eventually dawned on me that they were playing all Rush songs when I caught myself instinctively drumming ‘YYZ’ with my poppers. It was kinda fun. Some poor bastard even tried to get up there and sing ‘Distant Early Warning’ with them, but he tripped and fell into a giant stand full of chimes, which made his spleen getting impaled sound downright magical.”
At press time, Tom Tom Sawyer is contemplating booking a tour with a local Van Halen tribute band that consists entirely of guitarists.