Guys, guys, guys — you’re not gonna believe this.
You know Blake? Big guy with the Ten Yard Fight shirt? Mikey’s brother? Yeah, he’s about to try and do a backflip in the parking lot outside.
It’s going down in like, ten seconds. Ricky just told me.
Yes, Rebecca, a real backflip. A full backward somersault in mid air. No wall runs. No dumpster launch off. Just Blake, his leg muscles, and the will of God.
Look, I don’t wanna watch this opening band play another song about how Trump is just the biggest pig in the trough anyways. I want to see something that I’m probably not gonna see again till Blake gets out of the hospital.
Let’s go.
No, I don’t know why he’s doing it. I don’t care. I think it’s because he told Mikey that he could be on American Ninja Warrior if he tried and Mikey called his bluff?
It doesn’t matter. The point is that Blake — Jesus, Blake, you guys — is about to attempt a goddamn fucking professional gymnastic maneuver a mere 20 yards from the smoking patio. How is this not must-see entertainment for all of you?
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The fucking parking lot, guys. That’s pavement. His head could get totally rocked if he fucks up.
Fuck all of you, I’m gonna go check it out. I guess you’ll all have to see if he lands it on my Instagram story later. No one at this fucking show is getting tagged, that’s for sure.