Tim Graham
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KINGSTON, N.Y. — Local tattooist Eddie Greer’s proud tale of drunken excess bears a close resemblance to his friend’s worst…
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Laurie Bolewitz
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As the United States descends further into fascistic chaos, the American people continue to look to their elected leaders to…
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Sarah Cortina
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NEW YORK — New York Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani revealed that plans for his mayoral term will include providing shitty local…
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Ben Friedman
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ARLINGTON, Va. — PBS surprised viewers that a new documentary from acclaimed documentarian Ken Burns titled “History of Grindcore” clocked…
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Rachel Hein
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In the faraway cloud-based land of “Care-a-Lot,” part of a larger geographic region known as “The Kingdom of Caring”, one…
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Robert John Scucci
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ATLANTA — The Howling Goons’ plan to let their drummer assume extra vocal duties backfired thanks to his headset microphone…
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Reece Napierski
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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced plans for Stephen Miller to receive a Christmas bonus of $1488, confirmed sources. "They…
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Steve Packosky
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HEAVEN — Brock Sterling, a recently deceased metalhead and supposed fan of legendary death metal band Deicide, found himself inexplicably…
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Bill Conway
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WASHINGTON — President Trump is reportedly instructing the Justice Department to look into instances of voter fraud at Thrasher Magazine…
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Matt Husser
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WASHINGTON — C-SPAN unveiled an effort to spice up their political coverage today by introducing a kiss cam during live…
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