Archive

Month: November 2025

3 stories found

Nitrous Mafia Snitch Found at Bottom of Lake Wearing Cement Birkenstocks

Mike Maher • November 4, 2025

BOSTON — Local nitrous dealer James “Lawnboy” Carpenter was found dead at the bottom of Mystic Lake wearing only a…

Phew! The New Black Metal Band You Like Are Just Murderers and Not White Supremacists

Steve Packosky • November 4, 2025

Whoops, looks like you jumped headfirst into the discography of newly-discovered black metal band Øde Festning without checking to see…

US Government Urges Citizens to Choose Mad Max Style Post-Apocalyptic Name Now Before All the Good Ones are Taken

Tim Graham • November 4, 2025

WASHINGTON — A White House press release suggests that citizens come up with “wasteland personas” soon before all the good…