Adam Frost-Venrick
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SALEM, Ore. — Local scientists at the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife (ODFW) warned this week that flushing unused…
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John Danek
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My life’s march towards being the male embodiment of fourth-wave feminism began the moment I was born. I opened my…
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Dom Turek
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SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local crustie Hank “Spew” Collins was shocked and appalled to discover the cocaine he’d been snorting all…
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Corey Montgomery
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There’s a new kid in town. 3I/ATLAS - an interstellar object that many ‘scientists’ are calling a ‘comet’ - has…
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Greg Heller
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SOUTHPORT, N.C. — A veteran Southport slasher slash longshoreman is “beyond embarrassed” after botching the timeline in a series of…
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Dan Kozuh
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You know what’s truly pathetic? The crowds of trust-fund influencers desperately trying to get a bartender's attention, only to drop…
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Steve Packosky
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WASHINGTON — Experts at the Department of Education (DoE) have issued a dire warning that further cuts to their institution…
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RJ Atkinson
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SLEEPY HOLLOW, N.Y. — Beloved slumber icon Sleepytime Tea Bear reportedly died in an apparent house fire after falling asleep…
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Sarah Cortina
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Look, I’ve done some things I’m not proud of in this life. We all tell little white lies to get…
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Steve Packosky
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LOS ANGELES — Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine suggested starting a “supergroup” with Metallica members James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich and Robert…
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