Tim Sheard
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CHICAGO — United Airlines unveiled a new ad campaign that will emphasize the length of time that’s passed since the…
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Ben Friedman
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I won’t lie, I definitely take better care of my dog’s health than I do my own. I want to…
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Tim Graham
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GREAT BEND, Kan. — Neil Stamp, guitarist for local shoegaze band Quavver, intends to work on playing the guitar as…
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Mac McCarthy
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The Y2K bug was supposed to cause the end of the world. At least it was according to your parents’…
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WILMINGTON, Del. — Former President Joe Biden announced he is embarking on a new project designed to destroy the homes…
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WASHINGTON — The collection of white dorks that make up Elon Musk's entourage asked for a significant raise if they…
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Chris Bowen
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BEDFORD, N.Y. — Local black metal fan Dennis “Bjorn” Rubenstein celebrated the news of the Farmer's Almanac forecasting a particularly…
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Zachary Wolf
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I don’t know why everyone always complains about how hard it is to quit smoking, I did it the first…
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Steve Packosky
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CHICAGO — Nu-Metal band Disturbed revealed their 2000 hit “Down with the Sickness” was also a Simon and Garfunkel cover…
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Ben Friedman
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WASHINGTON — Elon Musk’s double Nazi salute during today’s inauguration parade led to a tidal wave of approval amongst the…
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