Kevin Tit
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LONDON — Elderly miser Ebenezer Scrooge is recovering in his palatial estate today after being exposed to COVID-19 following a…
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Patrick Coyne
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ALLSTON, Mass. — Local goth and recent convert to Wicca Willow Bates is insisting to anyone who will listen that…
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Zac Townsend
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This has to be some type of miscommunication. ICE just showed up at our front door. We allowed them in,…
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Steve Esparra
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WASHINGTON — President Trump added a new addendum to the COVID-19 relief bill passed by Congress yesterday, prohibiting American women…
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Mark Roebuck
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NEW YORK — Following a controversial opinion piece wherein columnist Joseph Epstein beseeched Jill Biden to drop the “doctor” title…
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Jimmy Beliakoff
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WARSAW — After emerging from their offices for the first time in months following long hours crunching on Cyberpunk 2077,…
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Dan Kozuh
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Everyone says how long 2020 has felt, but it seems to have gone by in a flash when it comes…
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Taylor Roebuck
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MARQUETTE, Mich. — Local resident Jessica Stabley recently watched 85 episodes of a television series she doesn’t even like, purely…
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Dan Kozuh
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There are approximately 135 screen versions of Charles Dickens’ apocryphal tale of ego reversal "A Christmas Carol" from Scrooge McDuck,…
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Lana Schwartz
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PITTSBURGH — Your ex-boyfriend Jake Doherty’s new girlfriend, Sara Michaels, will receive the vaccine for the novel coronavirus before you,…
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