April 2019 - Page 8 of 15

Quiz: I Got “Horny Moron.” But How? This is a Care Bears Quiz

Dan Rice • April 17, 2019

What the hell? How did I get "Horny Moron" on a Care Bears quiz? There must be some kind of…

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We Just Sponsored an Overwatch Team! Or Gave a Bunch of Random Teens $5,000

Dan Kozuh • April 17, 2019

Hard Drive is excited to share some huge news: we have become part owners of an Overwatch League eSports team!…

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Shitfaced Beto O’Rourke Wonders if You Dare Him to Jump off Parent’s Balcony Into Pool

Krissy Howard • April 17, 2019

SANTA FE, N.M. — Democratic Presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke reportedly one-upped his countertop-hopping antics last night, crashing a high-school house…

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It’s Time We Have a Conversation About What My Anaconda Does Want

Jon Wood • April 16, 2019

As a herpetologist specializing in the care and handling of large snakes, I can tell you that there are many…

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5 Times We Had to Check Metacritic to See If We Were Right

Aaron Stein • April 16, 2019

With how many artists and games there are, frankly, it’s unrealistic for you to expect us to actually listen to…

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Vocal Anime Fan Somehow Least Toxic YouTuber

John Dixon • April 16, 2019

LOS ANGELES — The YouTube community became perplexed today by the realization that proud anime fan and YouTube personality SungWon…

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Vocal Anime Fan Somehow Least Toxic YouTuber

John Dixon • April 16, 2019

LOS ANGELES — The YouTube community became perplexed today by the realization that proud anime fan and YouTube personality SungWon…

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16-Year-Old Iron Maiden T-Shirt Enters Pupa Stage, Molts Sleeves

Dan Kozuh • April 16, 2019

SAN DIEGO — Entomologists at the California Center for Insect Study published a paper today detailing the fascinating life cycle…

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Quasimodo Renamed Hunchback of Nearby Holiday Inn

Jordan Breeding • April 15, 2019

PARIS — Local legend and longtime Notre-Dame resident Quasimodo will now be known as “The Hunchback of Holiday Inn” after…

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DIY Sex Robot Looks Suspiciously Like Fridge With Hole Cut In It

Charles E.P. Murphy • April 15, 2019

PITTSBURGH — Local DIY lifestyle advocate and sexually frustrated man Peter Jansen unveiled today his self-made sex robot, which looks…

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