Claire Brown
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FILLMORE, Minn. — Researchers confirmed today that crust punk James “Pyrofuck” Polinita is officially the first human completely immune to…
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John Danek
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LOS ANGELES — Music teacher and ocarina virtuoso Marissa Harte let out a troubling and defeated sigh upon being asked…
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Phase 3 of the MCU will come to a close in just a few short weeks with the release of…
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John Danek
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NEW YORK — A first-edition "Pixelated Bukkake" card from the game Cards Against Humanity sold for a record $6.9 million…
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LAKELAND, Fla. — Local 30-something Gary Peters only managed to listen today to 10 seconds of All Who Remain Will…
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Eric Bailey
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HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Executives at Fox Searchlight Pictures have revealed that the upcoming biographical film Tolkien, based on the life…
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Matt Shore
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LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Amanda Hastings, 28, decided that after six months of working her way through the entire backlog of…
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Keith Buckley
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Legendary childhood diseases Measles and Polio will co-headline an upcoming U.S. tour, thanks entirely to the countless…
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Dear Scabby: I just got out of a five-month relationship, but find myself eager to start dating again. Out of…
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I’m a really angry person, and my preferred way to show my angst is by making snide remarks at strangers…
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