How About We Stop Glorifying a Man Who Killed 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Sperm

It makes me sick that I even have to write this amidst all of the other issues America is facing at the present. I’m physically ill that the world is saying “Rest in Peace” to a man who took that away from so many. Most of all, I hate that I feel like the crazy one for saying what should be on everyone else’s mind. But it needs to be said.

Hugh Hefner is not a hero.

Hugh Hefner is one of the most prolific killers in American history, and his name should be synonymous with genocide. Through his literature, his media conglomerate, his rabbit-themed propagandists – Hefner has persuaded millions of men to kill off trillions of sperm violently, often with their bare hands. By the time you finish reading this sentence, billions more will be shot all over the world, and nobody is there to be their voice.

Don’t believe me? Go visit the mass graves in the bins next to every nightstand in the West. Countless dead, just tossed aside and sprayed with Febreze because that girl from econ might come over and I didn’t get a chance to take the trash out. See for yourself the way rigor mortis sets in on tissues while everyone just goes on with their lives. Even the glimpses of shame their killers feel right after they finish pass quickly and the world never acknowledges those sperm were even there.

The United Nations has been silent. Greenpeace has been silent. The ACLU has been silent. I will not be silent anymore. And neither should you. Take a minute — just one minute — to share this with your friends. It’s nothing to you, but to many, this minute could be the minute (or couple minutes if I’m kinda drunk) that really matters.

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