Punk Believes He’s Winning Debate With Cop

ANN ARBOR, Mich. – Witnesses on the scene are reporting that local punk Peter “P-nut” Meadows seems to firmly believe he has out-debated the cop who came to cite him and his friends for harassment and public intoxication.

The police were called when multiple neighborhood residents complained of the group of punks spitting on cars, harassing people on the sidewalk and consuming alcohol openly in public.

“I’m sorry, but I thought we lived in America; these colors don’t run, officer. Is this not the land of the brave and the home of the free? Sorry, but I forgot this is suddenly communist Korea, mister dictator,” Meadows said while witnesses said the cop stared stone-faced.

As more cops arrived on the scene, it only seemed to raise Meadows’ ire and continue his tirade against his perceived oppressors.

“Oh good, your friends are here. Step on over, officers. We aren’t the white collar criminals who stole your parents’ retirement. Get a life and arrest the real enemies,” Meadows exclaimed to the officers largely ignoring him.

One resident of the neighborhood, Gabby MacDonald, was happy the officers were so quick to the scene.

“These teenagers are always here causing trouble. I walk my poodle by them at least once a week and they yell at me about the horrors of dog breeding. I rescued this dog from a shelter as a puppy. I don’t need them to educate me on that topic,” MacDonald said.

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A police spokesperson talked to The Hard Times about the incident.

“We get this a lot. Some of the local punks feel they have a firm grasp on the law. They may have taken a course on civil liberties before dropping out of community college, and suddenly they think they are constitutional experts. These young men and women would not have been cited if they were congregating peacefully, but throwing beer at every luxury car that drives by and harassing passersby for wearing clothes that may have been made in a sweatshop is not free speech, it’s just annoying.”

Article by The Hard Times Staff. Photo by Olev Muutra.

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