Most people know Trent Reznor for his Academy Award-winning film scores with Atticus Ross but you may be surprised to know that he also wants to fuck all of us like animals! But what kind of animal? And are we both the animal or is one of us the animal and the other one is Trent Reznor fucking it? Or is Trent Reznor the animal fucking us, the humans? Anyways, take this short quiz to find out what animal Trent Reznor would fuck you like!
Which habitat best suits you?
A. Jungle
B. Ocean
C. Saginaw, Michigan
D. Hamster Cage
_____ is the most important trait for a lover to have.
A. Honor
B. Attentiveness
C. Handsome genitalia
D. Soft, furry belly
What is your favorite snack?
A. Raw meat
B. Worms
C. Currently? Pop Corners. All time? Kudos Bar.
D. Wood chips or whatever the fuck hamsters eat
When you are in bed with your partner, who initiates hanky panky?
A. You
B. Your partner
C. We enter each other at the same time, it is always a tie
D. Hamster
During whoopee you love it when your partner says this to you:
A. Oooooh!
B. Jesus! Ahhhh…Ahhhhhhhhh
C. Oh my damn! Shiiiit…yeah yeah…hold on wait…ok I’m good…Wait wait wait…
D. You want me to do what?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
A. No
B. Yes
C. I have astigmatism
D. Please make love to me like a hamster
Favorite Wayans Brother?
A. Keenan Ivory
B. Damon
C. Marlon
D. Shawn
When you are in the middle of a large crowd, you feel _____.
A. Great! I hate personal space and love all the different ways people can smell
B. Great! Anxious, but great!
C. Dead. This is not a safe crowd.
D. Look, are you going to fuck me like a hamster or not?
Hypothetically speaking, what animal do you think Trent Reznor would fuck you like?
A. Penguin
B. Hamster
C. See answer key below
D. What do you mean hamster was already taken?
Answer Key:
If you answered the corresponding letter 3 or more times, Trent Reznor would fuck you like a…
A. Bengal Tiger! Did you know Bengal tigers entice their mates with urine spray? Don’t worry, Trent will always urinate in the toilet but you will have to watch!
B. Seagull! Did you know male seagulls will stand on their partner’s back to signal they are ready to mate? Trent Reznor weighs 170 lbs, please be careful!
C. The Geico Gecko! Did you know the Geico Gecko fucks 50 times a day! I mean that guy FUCKS.
D. Hamster! You clearly want this very badly for whatever reason. Luckily, Trent is super polite and if you ask him to fuck you like a hamster, chances are he will fuck you like a hamster.