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Tag: social security

4 stories found

Friend Group of Dream Theater Fans Makes Pact To Lose Their Virginities Before They’re Eligible for Social Security Benefits

Steve Packosky • December 16, 2024

NORTH HUNTINGDON, Pa. — A friend group composed of progressive metal band Dream Theater fans made a pact to lose…

stomach, tattoo, name

Punk’s Only Form of ID Just Last Name Tattooed Across Stomach

Ben Friedman • July 28, 2021

ASBURY PARK, N.J. — Scene legend known only as “Kowalski” has informed multiple local bars and government entities that the…

Not All Millennials Are Lazy! This 34-Year-Old Already Memorized Half His Social Security Number

Heather Cook • March 22, 2021

Millennials have been deemed the lazy and entitled generation, but there are a few exceptions. Sure, most of us are…

thrash, social security

Study Finds Millions of Thrash Fans Will Qualify for Social Security Next Year

Nick Ortolani • December 13, 2020

WOODLAWN, Md. — A recent government study indicates that fans of thrash metal will finally be eligible for Social Security…