Sean Fallon
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WASHINGTON — The White House announced the debut of a non-woke version of Jesus Christ called John America, confirmed sources.…
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Brett Olsen
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SALT LAKE CITY — Local born again crust punk Richard “Skuz-Dixx” Vanderbilt was recently baptized in sewage after deciding to…
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LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Local man Jerry Whipple, a self-described red-blooded, god-fearing follower of Christ, was outraged when he noticed…
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Dan Kozuh
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NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Health officials working the medical tent at the popular Living Flesh Music Festival have confirmed reports of…
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Steve Packosky
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Ew, gross! You just got off your grandmother’s couch while you were visiting her and you accidentally brushed against the…
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Mike Moran
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GILLETTE, Wyo. — Local hipster LDS adherent Rafter Barlow, who prefers the term “Josephite” over “Mormon,” is a faithful servant…
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Ryan Danley
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NEW YORK — Local punk rocker and present-day messiah, Lenny “Resin” Jackson stunned the masses crashing at his squat by…
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Matt Husser
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LEXINGTON, Ky. — Self-proclaimed MAGA Christian Cullen Monroe took a moment to remind himself of his core values today with…
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Zack Zagranis
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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump attended Ash Wednesday service at St. John's Episcopal Church, Lafayette Square, where he reportedly asked…
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Steve Packosky
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CANTON, Mass. — Observers of the cover art of Dio’s 1983 debut masterpiece “Holy Diver” collectively agreed that the priest…
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