BALTIMORE — Local punk Rick Blairowitz blamed his prominent neck tattoo for his inability to be hired, despite it being the only positive trait noted…
POMPANO BEACH, Fla. — The 11th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled today that a Sublime sticker on the back of a local man’s 1995 Nissan…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Aries, you can expect a much-needed break this week, when a months-long argument over who’s more punk finally reaches…
MORGANTOWN, W. Va. — Local woman Elle Bautista politely feigned interest moments ago after brunch date Cris Zahn revealed that she “had the fucking craziest…
NEW YORK — Renowned astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson publicly challenged the science behind the name of rock band 30 Seconds to Mars on Sunday night…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local grandfather Peter Cruz received a lesson in do-it-yourself ethics last night from his grandson, who explained basic DIY principles while inside…
CHESTERFIELD, Va — Local actor and improvisor James Elijah announced on Tuesday that he will delay a move to follow his dreams in Los Angeles…
EVANSVILLE, Ind. — Local delivery driver Mitchell Jenkins derailed a casual marijuana session on Thursday night after hitting a communal bowl with what witnesses called…
PLANO, Texas — Aging punk Jordie Farmer reportedly shaved down the sides of his back last night, creating a full torso extension of the mohawk…
CHICAGO — A pair of tickets to Riot Fest purchased several months ago is reportedly the only thing keeping local couple Chloe Jackson and Reese…
TORONTO — Yoga enthusiast Melissa Christie discovered last night that her yoga mat had been used, presumably by one of her three roommates and their…














