BOWIE, Md. — The back-breaking labor of Free State Digital staffer and lifelong punk Michael Fazekas to avoid doing his job often exceeds the effort…
FAIRFAX, Va. — Known procrastinator Dave Lowary has started smoking cigarettes in an apparent attempt to end his life, concerned friends and relatives confirmed. “I’ve…
DENVER — Local retail worker Carson Patterson earned himself a luxurious, three-minute paid vacation for Labor Day by faking a shit-break, awe-inspired sources confirm. “It…