Patrick Coyne
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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced yesterday that he had deployed the National Guard to Roku City, the fictional cityscape…
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Dan Rice
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WASHINGTON — President Trump showed off his physical prowess today in an attempt to dispel rumors about his failing health…
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Tim Sheard
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NEW YORK — Columbia University agreed to re-hire several prominent phrenologists in a bid to quell President Trump’s threat of…
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Trevor Graham
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WASHINGTON — President Trump commented on the appearance of the Statue of Liberty calling it a “six, at best” during…
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Reuben Blanchard
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WASHINGTON — Democratic leadership announced their plans to play the 2013 Katy Perry song “Roar” very loud in response to…
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The Hard Times Staff
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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump attempted to justify his policy of mass deportations by claiming illegal immigrants are taking up…
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Jason Clemence
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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump recently paid his respects to filmmaker David Lynch with a drawn out speech primarily focusing…
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Jordan Liffengren
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WASHINGTON — Famed Harry Potter villain Lord Voldemort was spotted at Donald Trump’s Presidential Inauguration, hiding under First Lady Melania…
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Kimberly Scott
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MANHATTAN BEACH, Calif. — Punk band Descendents announced a new album titled “Milo Moves to Canada” in response to Donald…
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Dan Rice
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NEW YORK — Judge Juan Merchan made a second high-profile ruling earlier today when he gave 17-year-old Shawn Thomas, tried…
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