WHEELING, W.V. – Supposed Cannibal Corpse fan Gary Morgan is allegedly using a dating app to find a new romantic partner instead of perusing his…
NEW YORK — Local man and frequent shirt-wearer Tim Abderman stands accused of being a total poser due to his failure to identify any of…
ELLICOTT CITY, Md. — Local resident and supposed Staind fan Brandon Vintner wasn’t even present at the attempted coup on the U.S. Capitol on January…
The one nice perk about having a soul-crushing office job is casual Friday. Especially when it’s cool enough that I can wear my leather jacket…
NEW YORK — Local poser James Morgan reportedly wore a bald cap over his luscious head of hair in order to fit in at an…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local audio engineer Kent Barger was once again frustrated after receiving accusations of being a phony for not knowing the ultimate “sound…
Well, well, well…look who we have here. If it isn’t Mr. “Punk” himself… That’s what you call yourself, right? “Punk”? That’s funny because I don’t…
MANCHESTER, N.H. — Alleged Phish “mega fan” Walter Pratt admitted he has only seen the popular jam band perform live 72 times this year, sources…
PATERSON, N.J. — Local punk and high school junior Terry Probost, who often claims to miss the grimy, dangerous, pre-Guiliani New York City, is actually…
COLUMBIA, S.C. — So-called At the Gates superfan Derek Chaulk was rattled after he discovered the Swedish metal band’s discography includes six other albums outside…
SPRINGFIELD, Va. – The local community was devastated after video surfaced of Allan McTerry, owner of Narcolepsy Record Shop, coming across as a total poser;…
So you’re watching “Forrest Gump” get dropped into the jungles of Vietnam, and you find yourself asking “Was this war good… or bad?” Before you…
VIENNA, Austria – Self-proclaimed hardcore Mozart fan Ted Zarusky is facing criticism due to the fact he only started listening to the composer sometime within…
I’m a real one, bro. Been around since back in the fucking day. So when my little brother wanted to see Sum 41, I was…
Everyone knows that the best shoegaze acts have the worst social skills. Any moment a band uses to speak to the audience, interact with the…