Welp, your sole pair of Wranglers that you wear to work, shows, dates, restaurants, and even funerals now has a hole in it. We would…
HONOLULU — Local skateboarding bulldog Excalibur reportedly pushes the board with his back legs instead of his front ones like a dork, according to its…
Being part of a subculture isn’t just about having the right look, going to the right events, or rubbing elbows with the right people. It’s…
It was P.T. Barnum’s angsty cousin who once said, “There’s a poser born every minute,” and the older I get, the more I think truer…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local punk Steve “Vomit” Parker reportedly began his annual metamorphosis into a Sublime guy after temperatures cracked the upper 50s this week, sources…
WHEELING, W.V. – Supposed Cannibal Corpse fan Gary Morgan is allegedly using a dating app to find a new romantic partner instead of perusing his…
NEW YORK — Local man and frequent shirt-wearer Tim Abderman stands accused of being a total poser due to his failure to identify any of…
ELLICOTT CITY, Md. — Local resident and supposed Staind fan Brandon Vintner wasn’t even present at the attempted coup on the U.S. Capitol on January…
The one nice perk about having a soul-crushing office job is casual Friday. Especially when it’s cool enough that I can wear my leather jacket…
NEW YORK — Local poser James Morgan reportedly wore a bald cap over his luscious head of hair in order to fit in at an…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local audio engineer Kent Barger was once again frustrated after receiving accusations of being a phony for not knowing the ultimate “sound…
Well, well, well…look who we have here. If it isn’t Mr. “Punk” himself… That’s what you call yourself, right? “Punk”? That’s funny because I don’t…
MANCHESTER, N.H. — Alleged Phish “mega fan” Walter Pratt admitted he has only seen the popular jam band perform live 72 times this year, sources…
PATERSON, N.J. — Local punk and high school junior Terry Probost, who often claims to miss the grimy, dangerous, pre-Guiliani New York City, is actually…
COLUMBIA, S.C. — So-called At the Gates superfan Derek Chaulk was rattled after he discovered the Swedish metal band’s discography includes six other albums outside…