Everyone loves a good mosh pit, you get blow off some steam, impress your peers with performative fighting ability, and…
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Kevin Hufe
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CHICAGO — In anticipation of the upcoming 2022 release of Splatoon 3, first-time player Bryan Skritcherson has begun the long…
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Kyle Erf
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MUSHROOM KINGDOM — A controversial new investigation into the supply chain buttressing the extremely popular sport of Kart Racing sparked…
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Lucas Johnson
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NEW YORK — Remarking that there’s been a strange, horny energy in his living room ever since the two electronic…
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Liam O'Malley
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WANTAGH, N.Y. — Local gamer Lawrence Olson has reportedly breathed a sigh of relief following the announcement that the next…
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Mark Roebuck
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WASHINGTON — NASA’s Perseverance rover has landed on Mars and reportedly discovered no new information about Nintendo’s upcoming video game,…
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Liam O'Malley
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REDMOND, Wash. — The Pokémon Company has stirred controversy after revealing the upcoming concert celebrating the franchise’s 25th Anniversary will…
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Kyle Erf
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KYOTO, Japan — A Nintendo press release has revealed that after decades of work as video games’ most iconic mascot,…
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Mark Roebuck
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GREAT NECK, N.Y. — Plumber, adventurer, and class of 1985 graduate Mario Mario reportedly confused the majority of his graduating…
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Seth Finkelstein
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Fellow citizens, let me ask you a question: how many bananas do you have in your possession right now? Do…
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