BOSTON — An attractive woman seated across from you on the subway was probably just waiting until the right moment to tell you how much…
DAYTON, Ohio — You settled for talking about Lamb of God with your coworker Nate Hollis after he heard you blasting Autopsy’s “Severed Survival” in…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local show attendee Alicia Zewbrowski appeared to have narrowly passed a visual inspection of her battle vest conducted by an older, drunken…
LAS VEGAS — A sound clip from 1989 film “Steel Magnolias” was accidentally used in the beginning of the song “Axewound Rhinoplasty” by notorious death/grind…
WASHINGTON — The nation’s fans of progressive metal band Dream Theater stormed the Capitol after the price of Real Dolls, a brand of life-size sex…
CASPER, Wyo. — Municipal Waste fan Dylan Medina was shocked and disgusted after remembering that he drank responsibly at local bar Shooter’s last night, sources…
CHICAGO — Local baseball fans and metalheads discovered that they shared an affinity to drink in parking lots, while one group was pregaming for death…
SAN FRANCISCO — Semi-titans of American thrash metal Testament, Exodus, Overkill, and Dark Angel announced their plans to play a concert in the same vein…
PHILADELPHIA — Lifelong fan of black metal Karl Donner was reportedly unsure if his fandom of Norwegian stalwarts Dimmu Borgir was acceptable among his peers,…
ITHACA, N.Y. — A recent study by Cornell University found that a striking one out of five local metal band t-shirts ends up inside an…
ALLENTOWN, Pa. — Local metalhead Devon Kingsley is reportedly still feeling a slight sense of euphoria after receiving $6.66 back from a purchase he made…
CLEARWATER, Fla. — Local metalhead Rickey Ray Reynolds asked officers if he could change into his favorite Morbid Angel t-shirt before his mugshot was taken…
BALTIMORE — Local death metal band Infested Remains landed in hot water after fans criticized the AI-generated corpse on their latest album’s artwork for looking…
WEBSTER, N.Y. — Leading music experts unanimously agreed that arguments between fans over which metal bands are considered to be part of which subgenres is…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Twin brothers Earl and Wayne Dunlap were chosen “Most Likely to Be Rhythm Section in Metal Band” by their fellow seniors,…