SIPADAN ISLANDS, Malaysia — Scuba diver David Peterson, 38, died tragically yesterday around 6 p.m. local time after running out of oxygen in his tanks…
Since I was-a just a boy, I have been-a the only known patient with-a what psychologists have dubbed Super Mario Speech Disorder. My-a life is…
WASHINGTON — NASA announced on Wednesday that a 12-mile-wide underground lake has been detected near the Martian south pole, leading many in the scientific community…
TAMPA, Fla. — Local sources report that Brian Turner, 26, is still eagerly awaiting his first phone call since changing his ringtone to the iconic…
We’re used to how certain characters look in video games, right? And if they’re altered ever slightly, sometimes it can throw us for a loop.…
MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Plumber and noted loner Mario Mario has reportedly missed multiple verbal and nonverbal cues from Princess Peach, who has desperately tried to…
NEW DONK CITY — Iconic video game star Mario Mario is under fire for his controversial defense of Italy’s actions during World War 2 in…
MUSHROOM KINGDOM — A new study on wage distributions in Mushroom Kingdom by University of Toad Town has found the average final boss earns thirty-five…
MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Following the first race of this year’s 150cc Star Cup, Mario was sent into an existential crisis, having finished several places behind…
KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced today in a press release that the future Mario film will be directed by two large disembodied hands covered in…
EUGENE, Ore. — The case of Ellie Johnson, the 10 year-old girl that tragically and accidentally disappeared during her recent 5th grade class’ Christmas concert,…
KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo is preparing for the upcoming holiday season by making sure every remaining game and console are destroyed, with its critically lauded Switch…
LOS ANGELES — FOX announced today that celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay would spin off his popular Kitchen Nightmares TV series to address a type of…
BERKELEY, Calif. — A controversial U.C. Berkeley study found that 80% of classic Nintendo characters believe that the Earth is flat, and also only moves…
MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Mario Mario, an illegal immigrant to Mushroom Kingdom from Italy, tore down a Bowser flag today after stomping on a group of…
