Zack Zagranis
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Today was definitely not the greatest day I’ve ever known. It started like any other day: the sun was shining,…
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Chris Bowen
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ALBION, N.Y. — Local curmudgeon Hadwin McKlusky fell victim to a vicious prank played by neighborhood kids in which they…
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Matt McInerney
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BOULDER, Colo. — Local man Turner Eaton was seen standing in the soap aisle of CVS, debating whether to purchase…
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Mac McCarthy
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The punk scene loudly promotes inclusivity. All are welcome, regardless of your age, race, religion, gender identity, or socioeconomic status,…
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Steve Packosky
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LA MESA, Calif. — Prolific thrash metal frontman Dave Mustaine started a rival retirement organization after being removed from the…
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Ben Friedman
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EATONTOWN, N.J. — Local man Brian Johanssen admitted that he is still grieving the loss of his favorite radio station…
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Tim Sheard
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If you’re a millennial or older, you probably remember “Stolen Honeymoon,” the leaked, mid-nineties sex footage of then-newlyweds Pamela Anderson…
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James Knapp
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WASHINGTON — Ian MacKaye was recently spotted scrambling down a block, knocking over multiple children and old people who were…
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Trevor Graham
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Oh man, have you seen my Cybertruck? It’s so fucking sick, dude. Just look at it. It’s like something straight…
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Ryan Dondero
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SAN DIEGO — Local indie noise band Static Teeth, which consists of just a drummer and a guitarist, left confused…
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