As the unofficial assistant hiring manager for Frankie’s Frozen Pizzas Incorporated, I’ve seen my fair share of disrespectful candidates, but I can’t say I recall…
LOS ANGELES — A decorative mistletoe went missing at a Hollywood holiday party only to be discovered in a private bedroom being sucked on by…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — California Governor Gavin Newsom declared a state of emergency after realizing it’s been well over two weeks since he was the center…
Son, I will not be mailing your Christmas wishlist to the North Pole this year, please have a seat. Over the years your mother and…
The influence Bad Brains has had on the punk and hardcore scenes over the past four decades can’t be understated. And we don’t just mean…
PALM BEACH, Fla. — The recently reelected Donald Trump announced that he was most excited to return to the White House in order to locate…
Get ready for a truth bomb. I keep hearing about this new bullshit epidemic known as “male loneliness” and it makes me so mad, I…
ARKADELPHIA, Ark. — Friends of local David Bowie fan William Malloy report the young man has a completely different personality every time you see them.…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Rapper Teren Delvon “Del Tha Funkee Homosapien” Jones learned that he’s a direct descendent of Del Tha Funkee Homo Erectus via a…
Great show last night! Seriously, props. Your new band’s first show was packed with friends, your significant other, your significant other’s friends, your significant other’s…
REHOBOTH BEACH, Del. — Local grindcore fan Nick Heineke recently criticized all death metal for sounding exactly the same, confirmed sources who didn’t necessarily disagree.…
Rush were Canadian musical revolutionaries. They created bold, out-there music that transcended boundaries for over 40 years, and even created the “deeply loyal, but insanely…
SAN FRANCISCO — Executives at OpenAI agreed to honor Suchir Balaji, a former OpenAI researcher and whistleblower, by incorporating his complaints about copyright violations and…
It’s Monday. Your co-worker has a lot to tell you about their weekend, and pretty soon you feel yourself wanting to exclaim each payment detail…
NORTH HUNTINGDON, Pa. — A friend group composed of progressive metal band Dream Theater fans made a pact to lose their virginities before their Social…