NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Dashboard Confessional frontman Chris Carrabba reported he is still finding his ex-girlfriend’s hair all over his apartment despite having moved across the…
DETROIT — Local American sign language interpreter Luke Phisher felt completely overwhelmed after being hired to work the upcoming US tour for the Icelandic band…
Mutants. They are the next link in the chain of human evolution, individuals with extraordinary gifts who elicit both reverence and fear from homo sapiens,…
WATERFORD TWP, Mich. — Presumed Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump’s campaign rallies are now limited to music by Ted Nugent, Kid Rock, and Norwegian solo…
Oh shit. Oh fuck. I messed up so bad. This was NOT what I expected AT ALL. Adopting this portion of West Huguenot Road was…
WARWICK, R.I. — Local punk Rich Stoklasa successfully delayed prematurely ejaculating during intercourse with his wife by thinking about every later-era Black Flag album, sources…
In a world where everyone can just yap into the voice memos app on their iPhone and attempt to become famous, it’s only natural that…
WEST HARTFORD, Conn. — A previously too-cool-for-school music snob is reportedly just inebriated enough to loudly appreciate AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” playing…
Gift cards can feel both like limitless free money but they also seem to evaporate as soon as you enter the store. Unfortunately the grandparent…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Jeff Pierson is allegedly “frustrated beyond belief” after his recent autism diagnosis led friends and family to assume he unironically…
AUSTIN, Texas — Governor Greg Abbott deployed Texas National Guard troops to combat the rapidly spreading wildfires in the state’s Panhandle, according to his press…
The Killers are one of the single biggest rock acts of the this millennium, a powerhouse band propelled by the incredible showmanship and charisma of…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — A bombshell study recently revealed a Conservative think tank spent $40 million trying to find a way to frame Girl Scout cookies…
The foundation of any good marriage is communication, which is why my wife and I text each other multiple times throughout the day. Whether I’m…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local priest Pastor Stephen Kramer is reportedly suffering a crisis of faith after hearing Christian ska band Skadom and Gomhorna play for his…