Hey, you. Yeah… you. The guy hiding behind the plastic shrubs near the restrooms. Listen as carefully as you can to every word I’m about…
You all know me, you know how I make a living. For decades, I’ve spooked young and old alike with my charmingly macabre tales of…
Oh man, we really need to do more research before we set up our interviews. To be fair, we are not huge nu-metalheads, but that’s…
Hi kids, it’s your Uncle Glenn here. I won’t sugarcoat it, but it looks like the world is finally on the precipice of destruction. I’m…
OCEAN TOWNSHIP, N.J. — Tilly, a haunted Victorian era doll recently donated to a local Goodwill, is on the cusp of tormenting the souls of…
CHICAGO — The nation’s screen and novel horror writers resolved to continue killing every single dog that is unfortunate enough to make its way into…
Wealth—it is literally the only thing in the universe that validates a person’s existence. Those who have it are heroes and geniuses and the rest…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local Halloween party attendees were seen struggling to make it through all nine and a half minutes of “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” by…
You can only refer to your spouse as Pinhead so many times. “It’s not a cute nickname!” she says. If only she understood this was…
Is there a more romantic season than fall, aside from spring, summer, and winter? When the leaves start changing colors and evenings get snuggly, it’s…
As anyone without children can tell you, being a childless adult is the absolute pinnacle of human existence. It rules, it’s awesome, it’s the best.…
OK, when I decided to buy a home in this community, I thought I’d enjoy a little bit of freedom in how I express myself…
I’m sick and tired of catching flack for taking my emotional support dog with me everywhere I go. I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and…
It’s the Halloween season and we at The Hard Times are getting our novelty horror screamo band Suscreamia back together! Well, almost. As many of…
They say when you come for the king you better not miss. Fortunately for Donald Trump so far all of the former supporters who have…