BURBANK, Calif. — Disney CEO Bob Iger made a surprise announcement this afternoon that he would be stepping down from his position, effective immediately, to…
BURBANK, Calif. — Stating their intent to dramatically increase the wildlife channel’s Disney+ presence, the Walt Disney Company announced today they would begin breeding and…
LOTHAL — Just as he and his friends were almost certainly doomed while trying to escape a secret base of the Empire’s they had infiltrated,…
We have awful news for fans of Star Wars and cute puppets everywhere; The Mandalorian creator Jon Favreau just revealed that Baby Yoda’s actual canonical…
MATMATA, Tunisia — Close sources from within The Mandalorian production team solemnly reported today that breakout star Baby Yoda died while filming on location in…
NEW YORK — In an unfortunate mishandling of the beloved franchise, fans across the internet expressed their disappointment earlier today that Disney’s new Disney+ streaming…
OMAHA, Neb. — Following the release of new footage from Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker at the D23 Expo, longtime gatekeeper Doug Michalski, 54,…
LOS ANGELES — Directed by Jon Favreau, Disney announced today a perfectly photo-realistic CGI audience created to enjoy the studio’s remake of The Lion King.…
WHITMAN, Mass. — Local punk Bobby Deitz was disappointed last Friday by the Hardcore Sorting Hat, which placed him into the “Hockey Fan” house despite…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Alongside its life-size Millennium Falcon and replica lightsabers for purchase, Disney revealed that its new Star Wars-themed section of Disneyworld will also…
NEW YORK — CEO of the Walt Disney Company Bob Iger was seen panhandling on the New York City subway this morning asking passengers for…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local father Brett Donaldson let everyone at Disneyland know yesterday that “…he’s no fucking pussy” by proudly wearing his Hatebreed shirt on…
NAPERVILLE, Ill. — High school freshman and self-described punk Michael Wade is calling his family’s upcoming Walt Disney World vacation his “Southeast Tour,” despite having…
LOS ANGELES — Although Disney has confirmed that the Boba Fett standalone film will be delayed, rumors are circulating that the reasoning is due to…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — The Progressive Rock Defense League demanded earlier today that the Walt Disney Company feature a princess actively engaging in fandom of famed…