Harry Valentine
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CHARLESTON, S.C. — The Gadsden Flag, an icon of the American Revolutionary War that sports the phrase “Don’t Tread on…
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Steve Packosky
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TOPEKA, Kan. — Nu-metalhead Roger Antesburger found that his lifelong System of a Down fandom left him better informed than…
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S.L. Neechski
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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Jimmy Fetsar missed a child custody hearing because he was at a bail hearing stemming from a…
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Sean Fallon
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WASHINGTON — The White House announced the debut of a non-woke version of Jesus Christ called John America, confirmed sources.…
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Jamie Godin
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PLANO, Texas — Local veteran and longtime Fox News viewer Ronald Merchant spent most of Tuesday afternoon convinced he was…
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Tim Sheard
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WASHINGTON — Citizens across the nation were surprised to learn that the long-promised slow descent into fascism has rapidly accelerated…
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Mark Shady
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NEW YORK — Conservative cable network Fox News revealed that host Laura Ingraham’s dreams now officially counted as real news…
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Cody Arbor
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ARKANSAS CITY, Kan. — A self-described “well-regulated militia” that formed to combat governmental tyranny and oppression couldn’t wait to welcome…
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Matt Husser
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LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Second Amendment enthusiast Greg Browner reportedly sprang into action today after the advice “only a good guy…
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Ben Friedman
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WASHINGTON — Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem revealed that she shot a department watchdog in the face simply because…
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