WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump signed an executive order demanding Kid Vid be the sole member of the Burger King Kids Club, befuddled sources report.…
WASHINGTON — 19-year-old Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) agent Braden Wakefield found himself running short on reasons for why he can’t hang out with his…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Local punk Charles “Chuck” McCoy is adamant that everyone knows his hatred for hippies stems from a left-wing ideology, rather than a…
AUSTIN, Texas — GOP lawmakers from the Lone Star State introduced a bill requiring parental advisory stickers be placed on all guns that end up…
It’s not uncommon for a comic book title to change writers several times throughout its history, but when Alan Moore took over “Swamp Thing” in…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Conservative voters immediately opted to burn books to warm up at the Iowa Caucus due to record low temperatures before considering…
GRASS VALLEY, Calif. — Local bar The Blasthole is reportedly taking a stand against woke culture by maintaining strictly gendered bathrooms at all times that…
FORT MEYERS, Fla. — Conservative advocacy group Bring Back America’s Heroes petitioned Marvel to update their roster of heroes with a character who is openly…
PUNXSUTAWNEY, Penn. — Local leftist, and amateur craftsman, Flint Cropwell admits to harboring a burning hatred for people who espouse conservative ideals, unless they make…
WASHINGTON, D.C — The Supreme Court of the United States recently decided, after allowing a law banning all abortions after six weeks, that the State…
WASHINGTON — Prominent conservatives nationwide are beginning to inquire if they are still morally obligated to listen to Ariel Pink after the artist was spotted…
WASHINGTON — Far-right conspiracy theorist and representative for Georgia’s 14th congressional district, Marjorie Taylor Greene, exceeded previous fundraising efforts after posting a disturbing video in…
DENVER — An unlikely alliance formed between a conservative uncle and socialist niece thanks to their shared distaste for the Democratic party during a recent…
Look, some things are just set in stone. 2 + 2 = 4. “I” before “E” except after “C.” Flu shots cause irreversible testicular torsion…
PAWTUCKET, R.I. — Conservative pundits outraged by Hasbro’s announcement that Mr. Potato Head would become gender-neutral immediately created petitions to ensure the company would not…