LOS ANGELES — Amid a packed auditorium, EDM music and swirling laser lights, GameStop CEO J. Paul Raines unveiled a used Nintendo 64 console made…
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If you’re going to be a gamer, you need to know a good deal when you see one. When the gaming market went from hard…
RICHMOND, Va. — Riley Tabul, dressed in a new, floral romper, is oblivious to the icy stares she’s receiving from everyone waiting in line for…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — “Woke dude” Pete McNamara lulled a once-thriving party into collective slumber after vocalizing his socially progressive opinions, according to extremely disinterested listeners.…
I went to an anti-war rally to protest America’s military interventions in Syria and Afghanistan. Everyone there was pretty cool and I had a…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — 24-year-old Jonathan Warner chained himself to his Macbook Pro earlier this week to protest “everything that’s going on in the world,”…
WASHINGTON — The Trump Administration announced plans earlier today to build a “big, beautiful” paywall around the White House website. Officials confirmed IT professionals are…
For more than half my life I’ve been deeply entrenched with The Children of Everlasting Bliss. I no longer have any sense of personal identity and…
ODENSE, Kan. — An ugly Christmas sweater has reportedly grown up into a beautiful bathrobe, in what one lucky local man described as a “Christmas…
CLEVELAND — Local goth Stacy “Scheherazade” Kowalski succumbed to the perils of online dating apps filled with “countless happy faces” late last Thursday in hopes…
Listen, I never EVER post about politics but you are about to see why, because I just can’t hold back anymore. I know what you guys…
LOS ANGELES – Local music reviewer and self-described clairvoyant Karl Berger can tell if new albums are “garbage,” “shit,” or “just okay” using a supernatural, Spiderman-like…
ATHENS, Ga. – Patrons of the Georgia Square Mall watched in horror as local punk Bobby Lamb was nearly pulled into a moving escalator when…
BALTIMORE — Local punk Rick Blairowitz blamed his prominent neck tattoo for his inability to be hired, despite it being the only positive trait noted…
Meet Walter Flannery. 64-year-old file clerk, two-time divorcee, grandfather of two beautiful pomeranians, and podcasting entrepreneur. Walter is one of 43 million Americans with a…
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