Undercover Cop Only One on Time to DIY Show
SAN DIEGO — A local venue uncovered a sting operation within their premises when a plainsclothes police officer blew his cover by being the only one on time to last night’s DIY punk show, sources confirmed. “I have no idea what any…
How to Get That Cute Girl at the Show to Notice You by Taking off Your Shirt and Starting Fights in the Moshpit
So you just got to the Whitechapel concert, and you noticed there’s a cute girl standing by herself off to the side. She looks to… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
Opinion: It’s Time To Put the “Christ” Back in “Not Giving Money to Homeless People”
Undercover Cop Only One on Time to DIY Show
SAN DIEGO — A local venue uncovered a sting operation within their premises when a plainsclothes police officer blew his cover by being the only… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
Israel Claims Hamas Holding Prime Real Estate Hostage
JERUSALEM, Israel — The Israeli Prime Minister’s office claimed Hamas was holding prime real estate hostage in dangerously tempting conditions, declaring the war would continue… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read more nonsense</a>
Geese Fan’s Parents Get Her Goose Tickets for Christmas
Dom Forces Sub to Read and Explain Board Game Rules
SAN FRANCISCO — The local kink community was fascinated today by a dom who compels their sub to both read and explain rules to a… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
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Music
Geese Fan’s Parents Get Her Goose Tickets for Christmas
NEEDHAM, Mass. — A self-avowed super fan of the rock band Geese was surprised by her well-meaning parents with a pair of tickets to see the jam band Goose, sources confirm. “My parents tried their best and I appreciate that,”…
Jumbotron at Weezer Show Exposes Tech CEO for Being Completely Alone
CLEVELAND — The jumbotron at a local Weezer concert exposed an important tech CEO for…
Punk House's Only Working Light Is Tip of Vape Pen
EASTON, Pa. — Residents of a local punk house are officially down to the glowing…
Flea Hoping More People Attend His Ugly Christmas Sock Party This Year
LOS ANGELES — Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Michael Peter “Flea” Balzary found himself hoping…
Punk’s Best Anecdote Very Similar to Sober Friend’s Rock Bottom Story
KINGSTON, N.Y. — Local tattooist Eddie Greer’s proud tale of drunken excess bears a close…
Featured Posts
The Next Alex Jones? This Parrot Learned To Say “Deep State”
Does anyone want to buy a parrot? He’s a beautiful blue and yellow macaw, very well-behaved, enjoys grapes, and, unfortunately,…
“Our Story” Section of Wedding Website Doubles as Historical Fiction
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Avid readers of TheKnot.com report that a couple’s “Our Story” section on their personal wedding website, where…
Democrats Placated By Decision to Rename Alligator Alcatraz the “Ruth Bader Ginsburg Memorial Detention Facility”
WASHINGTON — Congressional Democrats achieved “yet another satisfying moral victory” against the GOP by convincing their Republican counterparts to rename…
Opinion: I Have a Substack Because I’m an Expert, and I’m an Expert Because I Have a Substack
If you’re looking for true expertise, then look no further than Substack. I know this because I have my own…