POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. — Local woman Sarah Donnelly admitted that the parasocial relationship she shares with actor Kyle McLachlan through TikTok is exponentially more fulfilling than…
Mr. Rogers used to say in times of crisis, look for the helpers. With respect Fred, we say go a step further. We say be…
WESTLAKE VILLAGE, Calif. — Musical instrument retailer Guitar Center kicked off its biggest sales event of the year catered towards individuals entering their mid-life who…
The rare three day weekend is upon us, and judging by your employment history, this is likely a more common experience than it’s made out…
Lemme introduce you to this week’s asshole: Davis Benton of Pasadena, California. What makes him an asshole, you ask? This douche actually thought his healthcare…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local mailroom clerk and recently acquired boyfriend Jake Ramirez is reportedly feeling like the new guy at the office while he is…
So you’ve just slipped away from your soul-sucking job for a quick break, but now what? Go for a smoke? Stand on the street corner…
NASHUA, N.H. – Rebecca Sanders, girlfriend of local punk Ben Stumpf, allegedly puts on a Henry Rollins spoken word record before leaving for work each…
Listen up, fellas. We all want to live that Rock N’ Roll fantasy of pickin’ up a hot piece of ass, falling madly in love…
Baja Blast Turns to Baja Bummer After Tragic Doritos Locosplosion Causes Nine Dudes To Live No Más
Baja Blast Turns to Baja Bummer After Tragic Doritos Locosplosion Causes Nine Dudes To Live No Más
LOS ANGELES — A late-night quest for the munchies turned tragic after a violent Doritos Locosplosion ripped through a Taco Bell causing nine dudes to…
Nothing brings me more pleasure and a sense of purpose in this world than serving my country. Even if that means having to travel to…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local conservative, and self-proclaimed free thinking punk, Eddie Duff was confused by what he described as “woke propaganda” in Dead Kennedys lyrics…
While timeless comedy certainly exists, it is scarce due to the often reactive nature of the medium, and that apples even more to standup comedy.…
SEATTLE — Juror no. 11, local punk David Martin, told fellow jurors that this is his longest single stretch of continuous employment since entering the…
Wow, Vulture. Thanks to your fascist gatekeeping paywall, you stingy bastards have deprived me of learning crucial info in the Mulaney canon. “YoU’vE rEaCheD yOuR…