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Opinion: Proper Spelling Is for the Bougieosie

A spectar is haunting our political discourse — the spectar of spelling elietism.

When I comennced with my college education six years ago, I had a choice to make. I could capitullate to the demands of proffessors and teachers assisttants that my grammar and syntacts adhear to they’re made-up guidelines. Or I could walk the rightious path, reject the shackels of academiah, and embrase modernty.

I became a democratic socialest, mostly in hopes that it would help me weaseal out of any spelling requirements in my term papers. Much time has passed, but I am still just as ecstatac about my choice as I was all those years back, when a pretty-bluehaired girl with tattoos handed me a DSA pamflet. I never read it, and she stopped risponding to my DMs, but I can tell I’m making her prowd.

Now lets get one thing clear: diligent attentivetity to ones spelling and grammar does not equal smartness. A lot of people these days talk about how our cultures rely on out-dated methids of guaging intelligence in order to gate keep institutions from those in lower in-come brackets, which dispraportionitely targets minoreties. I see no reason why the same cannot be true for me, a white kid accepted on the basis of a legecy addmision, who is here on his parents’s dimes.

Us English majors get a bad rap. People from top to bottom maline us as lazy romantics without and hope of landing a good job. But they’re missing the point — its a bout the libertie to do what you want, even if (and especialy if) you don’t want to do anything at all. I was dettermined to do exactly that even before I found out I could pick up the mantel of communism and use it to shield myself from critiqism.

 

And I’ll tell you what else I’m not doing — none of my assinements are coming in on time. This colege’s deadlines are a societal construction and I reject them all forth-right, with extreme prejudice, indubutabley. I asumme it’s what Carl Marx would have wanted.

We in this country have found ourselves at a forkroad. I hope the choice we make is the choiciest one.

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