BURLINGTON, Vt. — Country music icon Willie Nelson was spotted at a local sleepover for 7th grade girls to get his hair rebraided and grab a few refreshments, confused sources reported.
“Beckie throws one hell of shindig! I’ve always found sleepovers, quinceaneras, and sweet 16s as convenient stops to get my braids touched up, meet some salt of the earth folk, and satisfy my sweet tooth,” said Nelson. “We played this game called MASH which predicts your life, and apparently I am gonna be a Scuba instructor living in a mansion in Antarctica with 16 kids! The snack selection was unreal too. Dunkaroos, Gushers, Nerd Ropes, Laffy Taffy! I was riding a sugar rush so high I couldn’t get my shaky hands into the paper fortune teller when it was my turn to go.”
Edmunds Middle School student Becky Pederson’s sleepover was now at legendary status after welcoming the unexpected guest.
“My dad called him the red-headed stranger but seriously he is my gray-haired new best friend,” said Pederson. “When I was fixing his braids I told him about how this boy Derek at school broke up with me on our two-week anniversary. No cap, he called him up pretending to be his soccer coach and told him he was cut from the team. I had never heard any of his stuff on TikTok but he played us some songs and outlaw country is bussin!”
Trend expert Stephen Lawry has highlighted other celebrities who frequently stop by the homes of regular people.
“We started seeing this a few years ago with homeowners hanging ‘Bill Murray can crash here’ signs in the front of their houses. Then some metalheads found an easy way to meet their heroes by leaving their garage open displaying a bunch of free weights inside,” said Lawry. “But as far as Willie Nelson, don’t lose faith if you don’t have tweens to do his hair in your household. Always remember that he loves weed too, so if you leave out little bags of pot on your doorstep, you might have a chance Willie visit that will blow up your Instagram.”
In related news, Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich reportedly crashed a middle school field day, made his three-legged race partner cry, and left with all the juice boxes.