Long Island has a lot going for it. It’s got a couple of beaches, bagels, and more emo bands per capita than anywhere else in…
INDIANAPOLIS — 38-year-old nu metal fan Bryce Spiller went to extreme lengths to maintain his soul patch after deciding to comb over his thinning facial…
ROSCOMMON, Mich. – Local bachelor and self-proclaimed world’s biggest Dimmu Borgir fan Eric Sandstrom still isn’t sure if he’s pronouncing the band’s name correctly, giggling…
PRESCOTT, Ariz. — Local metal enthusiast Griff Nilsson asked his doctor to adjust the persistent ringing in his ears to a pitch that was more…
AUSTIN, Texas — Lady Nocturne, the founder and sole member of anonymous black metal project Broken Widow, admitted her secret identity only exists to spare…
PORTLAND, Maine — Police were forced to drop all charges against local metalhead Bryant Newman after Newman was able to use the shirt he purchased…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local doom metal aficionado Matt Galloway admitted he prefers to listen to podcasts at a mind-numbing .05x speed setting, confirmed bewildered and…
POMONA, Calif. — Legendary vegan metal band Feral Autopsy absolutely drenched their adoring fans with what was later revealed to be a fully plant-based imitation…
EUGENE, Ore. — Local black metal-themed book club Readers Morgul recently started their twelfth re-read of J.R.R. Tolkien’s classic “The Lord of the Rings,” sources…
NEW YORK — Heavy metal outfit Awakened Flesh, vocal critics of arena rock band Ghost both in person and on social media, is said to…
BELLINGHAM, Wash. — Longtime members of legendary drone-metal band Earth are reportedly annoyed by a recent performance that was perpetually interrupted by the narration of…
ARLINGTON, Texas — The fan club for popular heavy metal band Pantera reportedly uses the same title for its president as the leader of the…
MINNEAPOLIS — Touring sludge metal band Butt Abduction recently realized they can’t fire their deadbeat merch guy until they’re able to regain access to the…
FREDONIA, N.Y. — Local metalhead Sam Barnhill decided it would probably be a good call to wear his lone Johnny Cash t-shirt to his in-law’s…
NEW YORK. – The Metal Injection offices recently installed a giant red phone designed to alert staff members to any new videos of Motley Crüe…