CALABASAS, Caif. – Local indie band, currently performing under the recent moniker Parkitect, were once again unable to stick with one consistent name throughout their 35-minute set, artily noncommittal sources confirmed.
“When we originally booked this show we were called ‘Belligerently Neutral.’ But a couple songs in we decided we liked ‘The Aquarium Rodriguez’ better, so we decided to start going with that,” explained drummer Kent Reynolds. “Then of course we changed the name again when our bass player mistakenly told the crowd we were called ‘Little Finger Guns’ and everyone just had to roll with it. There was a brief moment when we were called ‘Engine Engine,’ but that sounded dumb. Now we’re ‘Parkitect’ and, frankly, I have no recollection of how we ended up going with that.”
Show attendees are understandably confused by all this pointless bullshit.
“Not that I even really give a shit about this band, but I have no idea what the hell is going on here,” said showgoer Felicity Naymeyer. “The guitarist just said a name that isn’t the same as the one on the showbill and the drummer just used steel wool to scour a completely different name off of the bass drum after their second song. Thank fuck these guys will never be good enough for me actually want to see them again, because it would be damn near impossible to ever track them down.”
According to experts, indie bands have a history of spontaneously and frequently changing their name whenever they come up with something more twee.
“You have to understand—these aren’t common punk bands who will just come up with a name like ‘The Fartsuckers’ and stick with that for 22 years. The name is a major part of any indie band’s identity,” explained a rock historian who is clearly Phoebe Bridgers wearing a fake mustache. “Sure it can be a bit confusing to change the name multiple times in the same set, but what else do you expect them to do? Suddenly think of ‘Fragile Tissue Box Resting On a Wissinoming Windowsill’ and not use it immediately? I think not.”
At press time, a frustrated Reynolds was reapplying the The Aquarium Rodriguez stencil to his bass drum after the band decided to switch back to that one for a little while.